What is the most important thing?

Let’s step away from a straight leadership focus to something that is relevant to every moment in our day – whether it be work or home. I’ll start with a question – What were you thinking about as being important just before you started reading this, can you remember?

Putting the title into more context, this line came up in an audio book by Pema Chodron, called ‘Getting Unstuck’. The full quote being ‘If death is certain, and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?’

Every so often a quote I hear or read, actually gets past the one or two minutes that my brain usually retains something ‘important’, before it moves on to something else ‘important’. This one has stayed with me and really made me think about what it means. It has made me stop and reflect as I embark on an exciting path with my business and the coaching and facilitation work that I do. I create a lot of stress for myself in my world – ensuring cash flow, managing contracts, and the variety of tasks required to run a business, making time for family and doing all those things that fill in a day. Through this excitement and stress, I often forget about the question of what is important.

In my busy mind state, I can forget to look a supermarket employee in the eyes as they hand me my groceries. I do not stop and look my children in the eyes when they talk to me. I neglect to notice someone in need. Even if it is just to hold them in a space of listening. What is the most important thing for me as I pick my children up from school? Or listen to a coachee talk about the challenges in their world?

A number of years ago I was present in a hospital room when my sister passed away. It was tough to be there and in her last few minutes of life, the heart rate monitor she had attached to her was like a clock that slowly wound down to zero. A representation of the time she had left. And then she was gone.

The following day I was thinking about that monitor and its countdown. Wondering if I could have asked my sister in her final few minutes, what she was content with, what she regretted and what would she do differently if she had the chance – in other words, what would be the most important thing? I wonder, and perhaps one day I’ll get to find out.

I don’t mean to make this a solemn story, but it illustrates the point. I want to challenge you through this to contemplate this question seriously, because it could change your view of the world and impact others in a wonderful way.

What is it that is most important to you? It will be different for each of us. It may change according to where you are and who you are with. For me it is important to continue to develop my capacity and willingness to love. Not in a self serving way, but to genuinely be able to accept, have compassion, kindness and emotional space for those close to me and those not close to me.

This is my intention, both personally and professionally. I don’t get it right every time. I mess it up, a lot!. But my intention is to keep this practice as an important thing in my life.

What is your most important thing in this moment, in this day? If you remember your answer to my question at the start of this article, has your answer changed? What can you do to remind yourself to ask yourself this question during your day today?